What’s wrong with me!

I’m very frustrated with my body right now. A month ago I decided I would try something new, so I started a push up and sit up regiment. It was going well, and I was enjoying the new challenge. I found it on a military preparedness website, and it was  a little crazy, but fun.

Then, after about a week, my shoulder started to really hurt. I thought it was from the exercise, and you know, I needed to “push through it!”  No pain no gain! Feel the burn!  I was feeling it alright. I could barely move my arm!

So I took a break, and it felt slightly better. I was ready to go again! Yes! At one point I did 90 pushups and 90 situps in one session. But then it started to hurt again, so bad. So much pain.

I couldn’t even do a set of pushups anymore. It felt like liquid fire spilling on my shoulder.

And then… I broke my toe!!

So now, my shoulder hurts so bad I can’t lift stuff over my head, I can barely turn the steering wheel, I can’t sleep on it, and in general it just is very bothersome. So I can’t do pushups, and because of my toe I can’t do anything else! No running, basketball, soccer, tennis, nothing!

Arg.

So I’m relegated to just sit ups. And I’m not enjoying that at all. I hate when stuff happens to my body that actually reminds me that I’m not quite 20 years old anymore. How could pushups hurt me so bad? How could I walk into a wall and BREAK MY TOE?

WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?!?

It took 33 years…

Well, today it finally happened. I broke my first bone. Honestly, it is very disappointing to me. On so many levels…

First—I’ve always kind of relished the fact that I was, at least on some small level, still able to consider myself “invincible.” I mean, c’mon! Who goes 33 years without so much as breaking even a pinky toe!!!?? I wore my unbroken, unblemished, un-casted streak as a badge of honor. Now it is gone.  Forever.

Second—If you are going to break the first bone of your life, make it a good one right? I mean, maybe I don’t actually mean that. Because, I hate pain. So breaking your pinky toe is the way to go if you are a wuss like me. But for the story’s sake, at least break a bone that most people would consider important! Break one that people won’t mock you for going to the doctor about! (I already had two “man’s men” tell me this tale, almost exactly—”When I broke my toe (read this with a western drawl, its much better) I just taped it to my other toe and kept on a-workin’” (and then they spit on the ground in disgust at my sissy boot I’m sporting for 3-4 weeks).

Third—if you are going to break the first bone of your life, at least have a heroic story to tell about it! In my lifetime I’ve played many great amateur level sports games, climbed small rocks, forded 4 inch deep streams, hiked slightly rocky trails, climbed up the first two or even three branches of short trees, driven 5 mph over the speed limit on  my way to help someone . . . I  mean, the only thing separating me from Indiana Jones is a hat and a whip! But really, walking through the kitchen? Getting some cereal? I mean, that story doesn’t even rank as “manly” in my leather-cushion-office-chaired, ergonomically-crafted-computer-keyboards-so-I-don’t-hurt-my-fingers, only-buying-Hondas-because-they-are-so-safe, daredevil lifestyle.

So yeah, I broke my toe. My pinky toe. And, I am not ashamed to say, it actually hurts a surprising amount. Apparently that little guy was the one trusted to do the grocery shopping for a reason—he’s dependable. And when he goes down, the whole operation is in jeopardy. And yes, as I walked to my car from the doctor’s office with my fancy boot on, I wondered aloud, “How big of a wuss am I if I ask for crutches for a broken pinky toe.” The stunned silence of the universe was enough of an answer for me, as I grunted and labored towards the Honda Odyssey with power locks and power windows that awaited me…

Sad little toe:

Sad little sissy boot:

Mandy’s Memoir?

I don’t really have a lot to write tonight, but, as Jason says—sometimes you just have to write. So I will.

I’m excited because I’m starting to get into the flow of working on Mandy’s book again. She is getting close to being done writing new content (unless I assign her another chapter or two to close it out). And I’ve already been through it twice editing it and putting it together. I just typed up a closing chapter which she hand wrote (thanks a lot Mandy!) and now I’m inputting edits that she has made (I printed a copy out for her so she could read the whole thing through and make edits).

Next I need to do a more “overview” edit. Like, does this part really come after this part and before that part? And I also want to add some subtitles and stuff. I’m excited about it though. I feel like its a very honest and genuine discussion of Mandy’s journey over the past 3 1/2 years. I actually looked up the definition of a Memoir because I’ve been thinking that this is kind of what Mandy has created.

Here is wikipedia on “memoirs:”

As a literary genre, a memoir (from the French: mémoire from the Latin memoria, meaning “memory”, or a reminiscence), forms a subclass of autobiography. . . Memoirs are structured differently from formal autobiographies which tend to encompass the writer’s entire life span, focusing on the development of his/her personality. The chronological scope of memoir is determined by the work’s context and is therefore more focused and flexible than the traditional arc of birth to childhood to old age as found in an autobiography.

I think this is a pretty accurate description of what Mandy has done. At first I struggled to understand how to describe her work, because it is very different than the way that I write. But then when I started to think about it in this light, it made so much sense to me. I’m not sure if “memoir” will make it into the title, but I think it’s a good framework through which to view it while editing it and making sure it flows.

I’m excited for people to read it because Mandy really lets people in to the scary and dark places that she traveled during the days, months, and years following the deaths of Malachi and Hope. The book reads in a really unique way too, because it was written almost in real time. The first third of the book was written between Malachi and Hope. Then, chronologically, there is a huge pause. And then the writing starts up again, several months after losing Hope. It ends with us finally deciding to try again.

There are parts that I have read eight or nine times, and still they make me cry everytime. It is a powerful and honest journey into her heart, and I can’t wait until we finish it.

Anyway, that’s what I was working on tonight, and I’m excited for it!

Of cats, monkeys, dogs, and foxes

Kids have a knack for saying hysterical things. They see the world through eyes that are naive, untainted, and sometimes, totally and completely wrong. Just in the past couple days I’ve had three instances of this in my family. They are short, but really sweet, and very funny.

A couple nights ago, Mathea was praying with Mandy before she went to bed. Mathea has a list of people (an every growing list) that she prays for every single night (and often before dinner too!!). This night she decided to add our friends Nathan and Shannon. As she was praying to God for them, she kind of paused and made an aside comment to God—”You know Shannon, right?” Hahahaha.  Hey God? You know my friend, right? I mean I know you are God and all, but I just wanted to check!

Second story—Mathea again :) Today Mathea was spinning around this 10 inch rubber “hose” from a fire truck toy that belongs to Samuel. This hose quickly became a weapon in my house (like 10 minutes after he opened the present) and so using the hose in this manner was not at all surprising. Her choice of victim, though, was. “Daddy—I could kill Satan with this!” Oh my gosh, WHAT?!?! “I mean, maybe not kill him, but I could hurt him real bad!” Yes. Somewhere in heaven, Jesus take note! No need for a lake of fire or eternal damnation, just use the toy rubber hose!!

OK, now on to my favorite of all. Last night we took the kids out for Rita’s after dinner. On the way home, as we drove in to our neighborhood, an animal scurried in front of our van. Now, mind you it was dusk. Not well lit at all. Now, this animal had a small white body with dark fur on its face and feet and tail. And Elliot…oh man…I wish I could recreate the moment for you, because it was unbelievable. Elliot, in all seriousness, says—”IS THAT A MONKEY??” No way. I could barely drive. A monkey?!?! A MONKEY!?!?!?!!?

It was so cute, because as soon as he said it, he knew there was no way. But it was just so great. We laughed together for so long. And then Mandy hits me on the shoulder—”Well, he is your son, FOX BOY!”

And that leads to yet another story. Have you heard it already? I’m sure you have. But its great. Probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever said (except that one time I went to a funeral and asked the person, “How are you doing?” Dumb Christian, dumb.)

Anyway, we were walking on the beach a couple years ago, and this guy came up walking his husky. I love these dogs, they are so cool looking. Their eyes are see through! So I wanted to say something to this guy. In the moment, though, I couldn’t remember what this dog was called. Sometimes, to be honest, I get these dogs mixed up with wolves. I think wolves are very similar in fact.

But of course I didn’t say wolf, now did I? Nope. I said this:

“Hey! Is that your fox?”

“Um, no. It’s a DOG.”

Oh yeah. Thanks man. I have a hard time telling the difference between foxes and dogs. Thanks for setting me straight. And yeah, my kid struggles with cats and monkeys too. Kind of a strange family trait.

So there you have it. Enjoy!

Done!

I really enjoy tackling new projects. Especially ones that require a lot of figuring out of new things. That really excites me. And that is why, every year around this time for the past four years, I have gotten really excited . . . to do my taxes!

I know, weird.

You see, I paid someone to do my taxes my entire life. That is, until four years ago when, because of an accumulation of special situations (partially owned rentals, bunches of small self-employed jobs, being a pastor, etc), I had to pay $900 to HR Block to do them! What??!?! I remember when the lady put the sheet in front of me, I couldn’t believe it.

So, the next year, I determined to figure it out myself. I bought some software for $50 (much cheaper than $900) and set out. It took me many hours and lots of frustration—but I got it! And I’ve never looked back.

And the strange this is, I really really enjoy it. I look forward to it. In fact, I kind of think I’d enjoy doing other people’s taxes too. There is something soothing about doing methodical math work.  Strange.

Anyway, tonight I printed everything out and I’m ready to file. What a sense of accomplishment! YES!

It’s similar to when I finished my undergrad thesis. I remember watching all 100 pages print out and thinking, I can’t believe I did this! So cool.

And maybe the best part is, for the first time that I can remember, I am getting money back! Whoa. What a concept.

So yeah – it’s a good night!