One of my favorite things to do lately is play music with my kids and with Jonathan and Rebekah’s kids. I have, over the years, created a mini-studio in my basement for this very reason. Whenever they come over, we head down to the basement and learn a new song. We actually have begun to have quite an assortment of songs that we can play!
Music has been a major part of our family ever since Samuel was born. I credit him with much of it. He is naturally just a gifted musician. He also has a contagious passion (well, for everything!) for music that makes you want to play. When he was very little he started asking for musical instruments for birthdays and Christmas. Every year. All the time. We have TONS of guitars and toy drums all over our basement now. We have his first guitar too. It is broken into several pieces now because he used to carry it EVERYWHERE. I looked through my pictures some tonight, and here is a little history of him and Elliot growing in music. Then at the end, I have placed a video of Samuel and I jamming out, so don’t miss it!
They were tiny here!! I love Elliot’s socks! I remember these drumsets. Samuel beat this thing beyond recognition. Literally. It’s gone!
These were their first “big boy” guitars. The problem with any toy guitar is they don’t keep their tune. But the boys loved these.
Samuel really wanted an electric guitar. As you can see, it was the same year as the electric drums. He was VERY into music. (Can you see Mathea asleep on the couch?!)
Little Drummer Boy! Still to this day, Samuel will escape to the basement (where we have a real drumset now) and just play. It is so cool to watch him get lost in it.
Oh man! What a stud!
I love this pic for many reasons. I love how cool Samuel looks. I love little Elliot’s head in the drum dungeon. And I love how crazy I look!
As you can see, as they get bigger, their guitars and drums get bigger. And it has been so fun to watch music become such an important part of their lives. In the past couple years, Samuel has especially taken to drums. He has gotten so good, that he and I can actually jam together. He loves to write different parts to songs, and figure out transitions. So, I wanted to post this video, because, well, it is just TOO cute. Listen to what a great beat he has for the syncopated part. He made that up. Also, watch his face. He is LOVING it.
Tonight my goal was to go to bed early. I am very tired and I need to stay up late tomorrow night working on my teaching for Sunday. However . . . I got distracted.
There’s an outside chance I might get to play at one of two benefit concerts that I know of that are coming up soon, and I have had some ideas for songs I’d like to play. One is a song for Malachi and Hope. I had a couple ideas, but I think I found the one. Ironically, after tonight, it doesn’t even matter if I get to play it live. It was definitely worth it.
I found this song, by an amazing artist named Fernando Ortega, and I knew right away I wanted to learn it. I don’t want to give too much away, because I want it to be a surprise if I do get to play, so….we’ll just say it wasn’t well known enough for anyone to have written out guitar chords for it. So I had to figure it out myself.
This is something I’ve never in my life been able to do. I’ve tried it several times, and it always ends in me being totally frustrated. I hate it. It seems like something I should be able to do, but I just can’t make it work.
So tonight I tried again.
I listened over and over again. And I tried to just play the notes on the low E string. When I thought that I had them figured out I realized they were like C#, D#, and weird things like that. I couldn’t even play them to check if I was right!! (Frustration mounts!)
So then I had the idea to transpose to chords that I knew. Amazingly – this worked! After some trial and error (ok maybe an hour or so of trial and error!) I figured it out! At least I think so. I mean, it sounds good to me. Maybe a better guitarist will notice some nuances, but it works for me!
And the best part was, I was actually able to sing this song. There’s something about playing and singing a song on your own, rather than singing along to someone else. It just is powerful. More from the heart maybe? I don’t know. But it was really good for me. It was a really good time to connect with Malachi and Hope, to think about them, to miss them.
Whether or not I get to play this for anyone else, at least I got to figure out my first song. And I’m excited that it was done in honor of my two beloved children who I believe somehow can see me from heaven. I know that learning and singing this song has touched their hearts, and let them know that their Daddy is missing them.
Today neared the top of my list of highly stressful days at work (yeah I’ve got that list – don’t you?). In fact, there’s been a few of those lately. And there’s always the transition to be made after being at work all day, coming home feeling pretty depleted, and then walking in the door and needing to be an amazing father, husband, spiderman (or more likely Doc Oc), Darth Vader, International Spy, Pro Wrestler, or Master Swordsman.
In fact, two days ago Mandy caught a glimpse of me doing something very “Dwight” (office reference). As I got out of my car and walked to the door, I made an internal decision—”I will not allow myself to bring my work home! I will be a really fun dad and loving husband! I will myself to do this! I choose life!!!” Of course, while this was happening internally, I involuntarily raised a fist in the air in triumph! And of course…Mandy caught me! L. O. L. (Yes I know you don’t need periods there, they are for dramatic effect. Which of course is now lost since I had to explain it. Darn.)
Anyway, today not only was I particularly stressed, but after dinner I received an email that further exacerbated my condition. We had Jonathan and Rebekah and their wonderful kids over for dinner, so after dinner I made a decision. I inentionally need to be a kid. Just forget it all, leave all the adult stuff behind, and just be a kid.
So I grabbed my guitar and said, “Let’s go downstairs and ROCK!!!” (That’s right. I’m Jack Black. Hair and all.) Samuel on drums, Elliot on electric, Cosi on accoustic, Charis and Selah on vocals, and me…being a kid. It was awesome. I quickly taught myself how to play Crush, Crush, Crush by Paramore. And then worked my School of Rock magic. We developed this amazing, accoustic version of the song that seriously should be released on iTunes. It was great.
When we came up an hour later from the basement, it was as if the whole rest of the day had vanished. I felt free. I felt alive. I felt . . . like a child.
“I tell you the truth, you must change and become like little children. Otherwise, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. The greatest person in the kingdom of heaven is the one who makes himself humble like this child.” — Jesus
Tonight I did some more work on the Latshaw’s basement. I was by myself so I had the chance to play whatever music I wanted. I decided to listen to some music that has been really integral to my grieving.
During the months that followed both Malachi’s and Hope’s deaths, I often found that in order to really connect with my feelings, I needed music. I don’t know what it is about music that does it, but my heart seems to open in ways that it doesn’t otherwise.
As a result of this, some songs (and even some bands) have come to have special meaning in and of themselves. Not only do they help me connect with my feelings, now they actually remind me of Hope and Malachi because I listened so much to the music during those first few months. There have been many times when I have just spent some time alone late and night listening to certain songs, crying, and missing them.
One of these bands is Mercy Me. I have heard some interviews with their lead singer in the past, and have heard his testimony of the struggles he had after losing his father. I’m not sure if it is that knowledge, or the actual content of his songs, or both – but his stuff just really speaks to me. When Malachi passed away my sister in law Heather gave us one of their songs, “Homsick,” which is a beautiful and devastating song.
As I got to know them more, “Keep Singing,” “Hold Fast,” “Bring the Rain,” “Undone,” and “Coming up to Breathe” have become particularly meaningful for me.
Sometimes for me, what I need to do is just have that connection through song. It just is part of how I grieve. I’ve come to learn that over the past few years. I think it’s amazing how powerful of a medium music is.
I’m wondering, have other people had the same experience with music? If so, what songs have helped you through hard times?
