Arg.
That’s it. Arg.
You’ve heard of writer’s block right? Well, there is such a thing for teachers/preachers as well. As I have well documented already, I go though a process when developing a teaching (sermon). It involves prayer, moving into meditation, moving into study, and finally into writing.
This particular teaching has a lot of extraneous pressures weighing on my mind as I’ve tried to seek God about it: (1) it’s Easter—got to be good; (2) it’s the end of the series—needs to wrap everything up nicely; (3) it’s Easter—needs to incorporate the resurrection; (4) the topic overlaps with some of what I said in last week’s teaching—makes me nervous people will think I’m redundant; (5) it’s Easter—did I mention that??
Inevitably the more extra thoughts there are in my head, the harder it is to focus and find the real deal. So I’ve spent hours and hours thinking, praying, and meditating on this thing. And I’m circling. Big time. About 10:30pm tonight the panic began to set in.
I hate the panic.
It’s like that feeling you used to get when you showed up in class and the teacher started to hand out tests, and you are like, “WHAT!?!?!?!? A test?!?!?!”
Yeah, like that. Only it’s like, “WHAT?!?!?!? Tomorrow is EASTER!!!!!”
Finally tonight I tried an approach I have only tried a few times before. I started writing before it was all crystal clear in my mind. Usually I don’t write until I’ve got the whole structure laid out in my head. But tonight was different. It had to be. My thinking had become futile, and I needed to just start.
So I wrote kind of a free-thought style, and then went back and tried to build structure around it. And then, went back again and tried to insert scripture.
What I have ended up with is not my normal teaching. Which may be a really good thing.
The last time I felt awesome about a teaching the night before I bombed. So maybe feeling scared the night before, will mean it ends up awesome! Who knows?
One thing I know, is that I am not going to be insecure. I will not apologize!! I learned my lesson a few weeks ago. I’m going to just preach this thing with all my heart, no matter what. And let the chips fall where they may.
Update forthcoming tomorrow night…
I gave a teaching two weeks ago, and I was thinking some more about it, so I wanted to elaborate here a little bit. The teaching was about the interdependence we all have upon one another’s giftings. (I think I had a catchier title than that though!)
Anyway, for some reason I was thinking of a line from the movie “The Incredibles” today and it reminded me of my teaching. There’s a place in the film with the villain (who has been systematically luring “supers” to his island and killing them) explains that one day he will make the technology he has used to kill the “supers” public knowledge so that all people can be “super” (clearly he’s been a little jealous).
He then utters the line that I was thinking today, “If everyone is Super, then no one will be Super.”
His logic being, that the only thing that makes “supers” right now is the fact that their special powers make them something “other” than everyone else. Their powers make them special and stand out. Therefore, if everyone shared those same exact powers, there would be no difference – no hierarchy – and thus, no “supers.”
In thinking about this quote today (honestly I’m not sure how this all happened – I don’t normally meditate on the spiritual significance of quotes from cartoon movies I haven’t seen in a year or so!) I realized that this was exactly Jesus’ goal in the way he gave “gifts” to people!
If you read the different accounts in the Bible where God gives “spiritual” or other gifts to people, it says something like “to each person” a gift was given…in each account! Why the emphasis? I think it was (and is) very important to God that we all understand there are no favorites, no showboats, no one-man-shows in the Kingdom of God.
And in fact, I think it even goes further—I think he created us to only be able to function at our peak capacity when we are interconnected with others and partaking of one another’s gifts! In other words, when people try to venture off on their own, bringing glory to themselves, and doing in all on their own—I think they are missing the bigger plan of what God has for their lives. I think that to truly live the fullest, most meaning-filled lives that God intended for us, we must allow ourselves to both give and receive as part of a community.
Community is such a powerful term to understand – to live together. To share life. This is one of God’s highest aims for us I believe.
He could have easily given only a few to be the “special Christians,” the “supers” who did all the work. But he didn’t. The Bible stresses over and over again that no person is more important than another, that every single part of the “body,” no matter it’s function, is vital and integral to survival and success of the whole.
What’s interesting is that people are always trying to do the opposite! We are always trying to exalt one specific gifted person aren’t we? This person is the best teacher; the best pastor; has the biggest church; sells the most books; etc. And what we find is that more often than not, these people struggle to maintain balance and live the lives they set out to live. Maybe the reason is that they became too lofty – and separated themselves from the body. Maybe they lost that interconnectedness that we were all pre-wired to need.
So anyway, maybe this is one of those things that’s only interesting to me :) But I just think it’s such a cool reflection on the character of God, that he loved us all enough to level the playing field by making us all “supers” and then created us to need one another so that we could experience the joy of true community.